I was sitting next to one girl one night, who like me, was a computer supergeek. A lot of our shift was spent debating between which Linux distribution was more superior, and whether nVidia or ATI was the better graphic card chipset.
Yeah, nerd heaven, but I digress.
I’m sitting waiting for a call, while she was on one, and, while browsing FCP, I overheard her on a call:
Her: “2nd row of keys, 5th button. Now 3rd row of keys, 2nd button.”
…Wait, what? Surely this isn’t what I think it is…
…but, I as I look at her, she gives the biggest eyeroll I have ever seen in my life, thus assuring what I was thinking was true:
She was helping someone who was completely illiterate reset their password. God help us all.
I have mentioned many a time before that there should be an IQ test prior to being able to use the Internet. Many a flame war on various message boards as well as highly unintelligible websites such as this have proven this theory true. But this took the cake. People that can’t even read a Stop sign are getting online to write gobbledygook for me to try to decipher as being a rational thought, and will probably be jerks about it and call my mom a “frkgot” on top of that.
She gets off the phone and I have to ask.
Me: Are you serious?
Her: Yep, completely illiterate.
Me: What in God’s name could this guy possibly need the internet for.
Her: What else?
Me: *Thoughts of breasts and vaginas creeping in* Of course.
Which, you know, I find this hilarious. There are people that are completely illiterate surfing the internet right now that couldn’t even search for the Dr. Suess classic “Cat in the Hat.” But SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, they have figured out how to spell the words “sex, cock, pussy, tits, lesbian, porn, fuck, and ass,” to look up internet porn all day. This phenomena has also been documented by Gaijin Smash among Japanese youth, who cannot say “The pen is red,” even in Engrish, but can figure out over 500 sexual innuendos in perfect English within a split second. Are you still proud of the advanced society that has been created, people?
But oh no, this gets better.
She continues with the story, saying that his live-in girlfriend got angry with him over the amount of time he spent online looking up porn, so she changed the password to her DSL account, and told him he was not allowed to use the computer for 2 weeks. After the 2 week sentence was up, SHE made HIM call to reset the password and reconfigure the modem.
I guess he better learn how to spell “Masochism,” too, because it sounds like he’s into that kind of thing.